Man to hotel manager

Man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khirki se kodh kar jaan dena chati hai.

Manager: so .. Sir what can i do?

Man: abey khirki nahi khul rahi.

Doctor to lady

Doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko apne pass dekhna chati hain?

Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.

2007 ka faqir

2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

Evolution of man:

Evolution of man:

Without shaadi spiderman
Shaadi k din superman
Shaadi k baad Gentleman

Aur

B.V khobsurat hoto sari umar watchman.

Ek admi ne sadhu se

Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai,
koi upaaye bataiye.
Sadhu bola , saale, Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

Hello freshers

Gabbar sends Kaalia
and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software

he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki "Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par Powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Veeru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and

Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."


AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi?
Iski saza milegi...barobar milegi.

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naa-insaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout ].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar! a

Beggars of today

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

E-mail ID's of cricketers

1. LAXMAN:

available@home- only.com

*********

2.GANGULY:

nowdays@no_use.com

*********

3.KUMBLE:

only@test_match.com

*********

4.SACHIN:

admitted@hospital.com

*********

5.KAIF:

good@for_nothing.com


*********

6.SEHWAG:

consistently@ out_of_form.com


*********

7.DRAVID:

stick@crease_ like_fevicol.com

*********

8.PATHAN:

takewickets@ only_with_ kenya.com

*********

9. GREG CHAPPELL

only_experiment@ noresult.com

*********

10. Munaf Patel

only_line&length@nospeed.com

*********

11.Harbhajan Singh

no_spinpitch@ nowicket.com

*********

12. Suresh Raina

why_i_am_there@ god_knows.com

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez hoti hai.

Maa se ho to - MAMTA.
Baap se ho to - KARTAVYA.
Bhai se ho to - DHARM.
Behn se ho to - FARZ.
Aur Biwi se ho to
.
.
Sonu
Monu
Chhotu
Pappu...

Bhikari: saab ek rupiya

Bhikari: saab ek rupiya de do.

Saab: tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte?

Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?

Girl Friend ke saath

Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac……….tacatac….
De tacatac……….tacatac….

Stupid I am playing table tennis

1 lerki ne molvi

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha "Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye"

God made daylight

God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.

What happens to the Lipstick

What happens to the Lipstick used by the ladies.

5% of the Lipstick is sticked to the cutlery.

25% of the lipstick goes to Tissue Paper & Cotton Tabs at the time of removeing the Make Up.

15% of the Lipstick goes in Drain at the Time of Washing Face & Lips.

10% is Dumpped in the Garbage as Unused.

5% of the Lipstick is found in the Womens Stomach Due to Newer Flavours & Essences.

And the remaing 40% of the Lipstick I Gaurantee you that you will find it in Man's Stomach.

Dosti

ti smssweet sms
Har khushi ko teri taraf mod du,

Tere liye chaand tare bhi tod du,

Khushiyo ke darwaaze tere liye khol du,

Ek baar tu hus le , tere saare daat tod du.

Biwi ka antim sanskar

Biwi ka antim sanskar kar ek aadmi ghar ja raha tha.

Achanak..... Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,

Dukhi Aadmi bola "Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi."

A child had never seen his hips

A child had never seen his hips

Once his teacher hit him on his hips.

Childn come back to home & see the mirror,

& said

Kamini NE do tukde kar diye.

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

Kitne bhai- behan ho

Santa went 2 see a girl for marriage

Parents decided 2 let them be to talk

Santa: Behanji aap kitne bhai-behan ho ?

Girl : Pehle 3 the AB 4 HO GAYE

SMS to Boss

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back : When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later
Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.