Hello freshers

Gabbar sends Kaalia
and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software

he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki "Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par Powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Veeru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and

Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."


AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi?
Iski saza milegi...barobar milegi.

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naa-insaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout ].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar! a

Beggars of today

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

E-mail ID's of cricketers

1. LAXMAN:

available@home- only.com

*********

2.GANGULY:

nowdays@no_use.com

*********

3.KUMBLE:

only@test_match.com

*********

4.SACHIN:

admitted@hospital.com

*********

5.KAIF:

good@for_nothing.com


*********

6.SEHWAG:

consistently@ out_of_form.com


*********

7.DRAVID:

stick@crease_ like_fevicol.com

*********

8.PATHAN:

takewickets@ only_with_ kenya.com

*********

9. GREG CHAPPELL

only_experiment@ noresult.com

*********

10. Munaf Patel

only_line&length@nospeed.com

*********

11.Harbhajan Singh

no_spinpitch@ nowicket.com

*********

12. Suresh Raina

why_i_am_there@ god_knows.com

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez

Ye pyar bhi ajib cheez hoti hai.

Maa se ho to - MAMTA.
Baap se ho to - KARTAVYA.
Bhai se ho to - DHARM.
Behn se ho to - FARZ.
Aur Biwi se ho to
.
.
Sonu
Monu
Chhotu
Pappu...

Bhikari: saab ek rupiya

Bhikari: saab ek rupiya de do.

Saab: tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte?

Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?

Girl Friend ke saath

Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac……….tacatac….
De tacatac……….tacatac….

Stupid I am playing table tennis

1 lerki ne molvi

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha "Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye"

God made daylight

God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.

What happens to the Lipstick

What happens to the Lipstick used by the ladies.

5% of the Lipstick is sticked to the cutlery.

25% of the lipstick goes to Tissue Paper & Cotton Tabs at the time of removeing the Make Up.

15% of the Lipstick goes in Drain at the Time of Washing Face & Lips.

10% is Dumpped in the Garbage as Unused.

5% of the Lipstick is found in the Womens Stomach Due to Newer Flavours & Essences.

And the remaing 40% of the Lipstick I Gaurantee you that you will find it in Man's Stomach.

You are a GHONCHU..

You are a GHONCHU..
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi

Newtons Law of Romance

LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED
NOR BE DESTROYED,
IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM
ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER...

Biwi ka antim sanskar

Biwi ka antim sanskar kar ek aadmi ghar ja raha tha.

Achanak..... Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,

Dukhi Aadmi bola "Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi."