Teacher to Sardar

Teacher to Sardar: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is u will go to jail.

Sardar to postman

Sardar to postman :Sir my wife is missing.
Postman: BHAI ye to post office hai,
tum police station jao..
Sardar:Sorry sir khusi k mare
kuch samajh he nahi raha k kia karoon!

A Sardarji went

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with George Bush.
George Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.

George Bush: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
George Bush: more…more. ..more… Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
George Bush: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.
George Bush : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited George Bush to India. Next year George Bush was in India

Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same…he takes George Bush to a forest.

Sardarji : Dig it. George Bush does.
Sardarji : more…more. …. George Bush goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. George Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?

George Bush : No, there is nothing here.

Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

Santa ne Banta se kaha

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied - Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.

Dreams Come True

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account.
Know why ? ?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

Your Toothbrush

Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.

Ek din Santa

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala - I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

Autowala to Santa

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!

Banta to Doctor

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

taxi lekar aa gaya

Sardar ke ghar uske sasural wale aaye,
biwi boli jao bahar se kuch le kar aao.

Sardar bahar gaya or taxi lekar aa gaya.

kal raat 3 ghante

Sardar: Yaar kal raat 3 ghante 1 ENGLISH FILM dekhi.,
Na Koi Seen tha, Na Aawaaaz.!
Friend: Film ka Naam kya tha.?
Sardar: “NO DISC INSERTED “

In Bio practical:

In Bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar :I don’t know.
Examiner: You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Sardar Se Puchha:

Sardar Se Puchha: Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Sardar: A Cockroach
Why?
Because Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

Sardar:Yar mujhe 1

Sardar:Yar mujhe 1 hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man:Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.

A sardar came out of exam hall

A sardar came out of exam hall very sad. When askd why he was sad: “Oye! I didn’t know the past tense of “THINK”, I thought & thought & thought & finally wrote “THUNK”!!

Ek Sardar Delhi Se Chennai Ja Raha Tha,

Ek Sardar Delhi Se Chennai Ja Raha Tha,

Upper Birth Mein Uski Seat Thi,

Nagpur Station Par Wo Khana Lene Ke Liye Utra,

Itne Mein Train Chali Gayee Aur Mumbai Ki Train Aa Gayi,

Wo Train Par Chada Aur Lower Birth Par Baitha,

Logon Ne Pucha Sardarji Kahan Ka Irada Hai,

Sardarji: Chennai Ka,

Par Ye Train To Mumbai Ja Rahi Hai,

Sardarji: “Ye Mein Pehli Train Dekh Raha Hoon Jis Ki Upper Birth Chennai Aur Lower Birth Mumbai Ja Rahi Hai”

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police:Kion has rahe ho?
Sardar:Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!

Sardar:Yar mujhe 1 hathora

Sardar:Yar mujhe 1 hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man:Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.

I have sent u many

I have sent u many msgs, but u did’nt reply.

Now I’m deleting ur no. Good Bye!!!

Sardar sent this SMS to Customer Care…